Phantom Janitor Rewrite Progress! :D

I have been wanting to rewrite Phantom Janitor for about five or so years at this point, and I have been slowly reworking the original story to fit my new writing style.

And it’s been a while since I have talked about Phantom Janitor or the rewrite on this blog. In fact, I posted my first chapter of this rewrite back in July of last year. And while I haven’t been going as fast on the rewriting the story, I have been making great strides. Character work is a huge thing I really wanted to fix. Not in the characters themselves but more giving some of the interactions for realism.

In reading the original manuscript again, after such a long time, the flaws in the story and some of the things my characters said stuck out like sore thumbs. And the language doesn’t seem as real, like these characters were written in a bubble. Like it was unrealistic and haphazardly thrown together. (If you think I am being too strict to myself, read the sample of my book on Amazon. I will never recover from the cringe that was listening to a fellow author reading to me from Phantom Janitor over the phone.)

I wanted to take a second and list out some character changes and reasons why I am changing them. It’s been really helpful to keep track of these things because I can tell I have really grown and matured as a person and as a writer.

• One of the most major changes so far has been with Frankie. In the original story, he was just a self-proclaimed ladies man who said weird stuff and had to be reined in by Derrick and Rowley a lot. A big regret I had after writing, was that Frankie was a best friend only by name, and that he didn’t really… do much? I gave him a bit more heart and personality, especially when it came to his relationship with Derrick. He’s more supportive and protective when it comes to Ernesto. I also (as you already know if you read the first chapter) introduced his parents as characters.
• Derrick’s outlook has changed, particularly toward his dreams of being a performer. He doesn’t hate himself or sell himself short for his acting anymore and instead has a new inner conflict that makes a bit more sense.
• Ernesto is more realistic. In the original, Ernesto was super cut and dry evil asshole. Venomous name-calling, slapping, paying someone to harass his step-son. It just seemed too in your face, and I felt a different approach to the character was necessary. He’s still very much the bad guy, but his methods are different.
• Nathan has a good deal more to do. Who’s Nathan? Exactly. For someone who had a huge part of the twist in the end, I felt like he wasn’t noteable enough in the story. I wanted to make him shine a bit more, like Frankie.
• Cassidy’s young career as an actor is explored. I go a bit into detail about the show she worked on, and like what she’s wanting to do with her new experiences that she’s gained as being in front of a camera. I also give some character to the show she worked on. Like her character name, specific attributes of the show she worked on, etc. It’s a really fun concept.
• Cain is not the coach of the football team anymore. He’s just the QB. Razor, Buck, and Manny are still part of the defensive line. The Coach of the team probably won’t get much time on the pages, but he may. I am not that far in yet.

Most of these are changes that came up while I was rewriting the story. I am eight chapters and almost fourteen thousand words in. More is probably going to change during the writing process, I am sure. I am really excited and I am going to keep working.

If you’d like to see Chapter Two of the rewrite, let me know! I’d love to share more from the rewrite, if you’d like to see it.