My perfect horror movie marathon night!

I love a good movie night. Just you (and any company you prefer to have around) and your snacks, a screen, and a fictional narrative playing out in blue light.

I haven’t had a good movie night in a while. The last one I did involved pancakes, bacon, eggs, lemon sours, and gummy sharks. I just don’t have a lot of spare time for a real good movie marathon night.

Time isn’t the only factor though. There are so many others that you need to think about. Like deciding what movies you’re going to watch. Or if you’re sticking to just to a specific franchise. Or what genre you want to watch?

Obviously, while I do not have time to actually sit down and watch a curated selection of movies. I do have a lot of time to think about what I want while I stand behind a deli counter, and sometimes my mind wanders to this exact topic. How convenient, right?

So, the horror genre. People know I love it. People know so much about my love for the horror genre. Some would say they know too much about it! Obviously, I am going to pick horror/horror adjacent movies, right?

Well, yeah. Duh. Do you even know me if you thought anything different?

There are two different angles I could go with this. I could pick just a single franchise. Like the six Scream movies would be the easiest and fastest answer I could give. (What? No. There isn’t another Scream movie that is worth acknowledging. The Franchise ended with Scream VI. Free Palestine!) But if I am going to do a movie night, I want some variety. Some possible synergy between themes and subgenres.

So, here’s a list of ten movies I would want to be apart of a future movie marathon, and why!

• Willy’s Wonderland
  Nothing says “Enjoyable Evening” quite like watching Nicolas Cage beat the everloving shit out of some robotic mascots without uttering a single line of dialogue. This movie is a favorite of mine because it’s just so silly and fun. It’s just a fun watch where you don’t have to think too much about plot implictions or worry about characters you love. Nic Cage carries the film on his back and that makes it all the more enjoyable.
• It’s A Wonderful Knife
  With my lack of time, I haven’t had a chance to catch as many newer releases like I would have liked to. 2023’s It’s a Wonderful Knife is no exception to this. From everything I have seen, it promises to be a very good, very queer horror film that is modeled after the classic Christmas movie of a similar name. Where better to experience the movie for the first time, than during an all-out HorrorFest!
• Abigail
  Currently my second favorite vampire movie, I think Abigail is a fantastic watch for any movie night. It’s got a great ensemble cast that includes Melissa Barerra, Kathryn Newton, Giancarlo Esponito, the late Angus Cloud, and more. Like seriously, this cast is so fucking stacked and they all do such a wonderful job in this film.
• Dog Soldiers
  I have watched this movie twice since learning about it, and I think I am due for another watch. Dog Soldiers is a brilliant werewolf movie that follows a team of British Soldiers on an expedition of the Scottish Highlands. What they come across though, a body thrown into their campfire and the bloodied remains of almost an entire squadron, sets them up for a terrifying time of running from a bloodthirsty… well, you know what it is. Fun fact, Sean Pertwee is the son of the Third Doctor’s actor, Jon Pertwee.
• Clown in a Cornfield
  Based on the book with the same title by Adam Cesare, this movie came out this past summer! It’s based on the first book in a trilogy of horror novels featuring a small town obsessed with the mascot of their recently burned down corn syrup factory mascot Frendo. I still need to finish this book! But the second I do, the movie is next! And it would make a fun addition to this hypothetical marathon. I mean, it’s clowns. What is there to hate about clowns? I am definitely not flashing back to when I was watching Hell House LLC and forgot about the fucking clown mannequins.
• Hearteyes
  I saw this movie in Indiana with my best friend’s partner, Dylan, when it came out in theaters! And I bought it on DvD the second I saw that it had a DvD release. Not only is it a necessity for my next movie night; it is a necessity for all of my movie nights. In all seriousness, I loved this movie so much. It’s gruesome enough to make people jump, but funny enough to keep the light and playful mood.
• Happy Death Day
  This movie has been out for a while, and has spawned one sequel and the possibility of a crossover with another horror comedy. But I have not seen it. I only know of it through other people talking about it. Groundhog Day with a killer twist, this movie is also kind of a romantic comedy in a sense. From what I have seen of this movie, it looks like a fun movie and definitely would fit in with the vibes of most of the other movies.
• The Banana Splits Movie
  Another mascot-based horror for folks who grew up in the nineties/early 2000’s, this movie is a horror comedy with characters that were big when I grew up. The movie follows a family that goes to see a live-on-tape showing of the Banana Splits Show, when the titular crew of animatronics start going berserk after learning of the show’s impending cancelation. This animatronic movie came out long before the very popular Five Nights at Freddy’s movie, and I think adding it to a movie night alongside Willy’s Wonderland could make for an amazing first-time watch. From what I know of this movie, the overall cast quite a bit more likeable.
• Boys From County Hell
  A movie night would not be complete for me without my favorite vampire movie of all time. It’s an Irish vampire movie that pulls its lore from the legend of Abhartach. The comedy and heart of this movie are what brings me back to it with each watch. Like, it’s such a good balance of scares and laughs, but it also punches you in the gut with feelings in multiple places. I do believe that this film is essential for any vampire lover.
• Sinners
  Speaking of vampires and vampire lovers, my last choice for a perfect horror movie night would be Sinners. I have Sinners on DvD ready to play whenever I have down time and a DvD player nearby. Nine out of ten people who I have talked to about this movie have given such high praise. Out of all the movies on this list that I haven’t seen, besides maybe Clown in a Cornfield, this is the one I know the least about plot-wise. I have kept free from any spoilers, for the most part. So this movie during a movie night? PEAK EXPERIENCE.

And that’s the list. I need to get like a day set aside, where I can have a bunch of friends come together and we can just watch movies. It would be so nice. I would bake snacks, pop popcorn, and just have such a good time doing it all.

What would you pick for a movie night? I’d love to know. Would they be horror too? Or would you go for something lighter? Faster-paced? Extra-terrestrial? That’s the fun thing about movie nights. They can really be whatever you want.